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24 Hour Crisis Line

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
TTY: 1-800-787-3224

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Barriers to Leaving
Domestic Violence
Effects on Children
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Power And Control
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Sexual Assault
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Power and Control Wheels
 Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the woman’s life and circumstances.

The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to establish and maintain control over his partner. Very often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.

Frequently Asked Questions

Jamie Catlett, COVE's Volunteer Coordinator, speaks to many groups, both adult, teens and children. The following are Jamie's experiences as she speaks to the public.

"So often when we hear about domestic violence we don’t see how it directly affects us but for so many do feel a personal connection. When speaking out in the public with children and adults of all economic standing, I am approached by members of the audience with personal stories. Stories of the abuse they suffered themselves as a  child, stories of former relationships, stories of supporting a  family member, and stories of how they have overcome and  changed their lives and the lives of future generations.  Statistically, one in four women is currently in an abusive relationship. I bet almost everyone knows of someone if not herself, that has or is affected by an unhealthy abusive relationship. Domestic violence really does affect us all both directly and indirectly through victims lost work days,  medical expenses, homeless and much more.

Some of the same questions also are raised:

Does domestic abuse continue from generation to generation?

The answer is yes. 80% of children that grownup in homes where domestic violence is present I (whether witnessed or not) go on to be victims, abusers or both. 60% of abusers who abuse their partners also abuse the children! Children are our future and so many are suffering in silence.

Why doesn't "she" just leave?

Victims stay for so many reasons. Some of them include believing "he" will change. The pressures felt of having to keep the family together. Some have no financial support. Most have been isolated from their friends and family and feel they have nowhere to turn. Abusers purposefully isolate their victims. On average it takes 7-12 times before she'll leave for the final time. I imagine most family and friends
lose hope of her leaving before she has the strength to do so. Some are more afraid of the unknown and have learned to live with and around the abuse they are suffering.

Does alcohol cause domestic violence?

I've heard lots of stories about how "he only hit us when he was drinking" or "it seems more violence happens when alcohol is involved". The truth is that alcohol does not cause violence. When drugs and alcohol are present there are two issues: 1.) the alcohol/drug problem and 2.) violence problem. How do we know this to be true? Because it doesn't matter how much someone drinks or drugs he or she
chooses his or her behavior. For example: how much would someone have to drink or drug to French kiss their grandmother. Exactly. If you know its wrong you just wouldn't do it. Both problems need addressing.

Domestic Violence is all about Power and Control.
Abusers have and use all kinds of tools to gain and maintain power and control over their victims. Emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual abuse are some. For more info please see the power and control wheel.

COVE staff are highly trained and passionate about sheltering, protecting and empowering victims of domestic and sexual violence and educating our community about the root causes of violence. Along with volunteers we are out in our community doing our best to make a change and having the voices of the souls we serve be heard! You can join us!"

Jamie is available to speak to groups or businesses upon request.

906 E. Ludington Ave., Ludington, MI 49431
Office 231-843-2541
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